Change is Women's Work

Did you know that over 80% of all personal growth books and programs are purchased by women? Did you know that the majority of non-profits in the United States are started by women? Let's face it ladies, we don't shy away from change. As a matter of fact, we are putting ourselves on the front lines and making it happen!

I've been delving into what motivates people to create change in their community and through this research, one thing has become crystal clear, change, no matter how big or small, begins in the heart of a woman. The injustices and poorly run systems in this country could not be more frustrating to women. Systems that were created for the right reasons, but have lost all effectiveness and are now a bureaucratic disaster disturb us to our core. So much to the point that we devote our lives to creating detours around government policy so that children can be fed, education is made available and eventually, policies are changed.

Change IS a matter of the heart. When you look at some of the women who are "change-makers," you will often see that there is a personal story behind her work. Take Candy Lightner for example, she founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving in 1980 after her daughter, Cari, was killed by a repeat drunk driving offender. Mothers just like her rallied to her side and helped cut annual alcohol-related traffic fatalities in half and have stood toe to toe with politicians to push policy change. Her story is personal and that's exactly how she pushed forward and created change, on a personal level.

Women gather around shared values, passions and common experiences which means if you're a change-maker, it's time to get the word out on your story and movement so like minded women can find you. In today's world there's no better tool than the web. Think about the technological advantages the change-makers of today have over past generations. Grass roots movements like EcoMom Alliance may never have been able to open chapters across the country if it had to depend on word of mouth and print advertising. The Internet is a change-maker's friend.

Women make it happen when they begin to share their story. Our homework is to decide how we want to communicate it and what end goal we have in mind. Do you simply want to share your day to day experiences? Perhaps build critical mass to push social change? Or to become a support network for those with a shared story. It's never been easier to build a free website, blog or social network, so I'm encouraging you to start thinking about how you can become the change-maker in your life.

I'm thrilled to be presenting a women's panel discussion on the topic of "change" at the annual Best Buy WOLF Conference in Boston this year. We already have four amazing women signed up and it proves to be an incredible event. I'll be back to report my experiences, but until then, I urge you to ask yourself, "How can I leave a legacy of positive change in this world?"

Until next time ladies,

Taiha Wagner

Taiha Wagner is Founder/Director of Build Her Dream, offering small business development services and marketing to women expertise. (http://www.buildherdream.com/)

Women ARE Making it Happen!

I was blessed with the opportunity this week to speak to an amazing group of women in Minneapolis, Women in Networking. Teresa Thomas-Carroll, who leads the group, is truly committed to connecting professional women in a meaningful way. At the beginning of the meeting she drew special attention to a few women who had recently been laid off and asked them to share what types of positions they were seeking so that if any of us had contacts for them, we could pass them on. Once again, women make it happen.

I also recently had a discussion with a friend of mine, Kathleen Watson, about how well women support each other and she had something interesting to say. Kathleen pointed out that if only we were our own best fans as well, we could find even more opportunity to share with our network. I asked Kathleen if she would write a little something to share her thoughts on the topic with us. I hope you enjoy this article from Kathleen, and believe me, if you're looking for help on how you can improve your networking, Kathleen literally wrote the book!

Till next time,

Taiha Wagner

Build Her Dream

Are You Denying Your Talents? by Kathleen Watson

As the reigning Queen of Double Standards, I’m very attuned to situations where an individual applies different—and often more stringent—standards to herself than she does to anyone else. This is pretty common behavior on the part of many of my talented female friends, and it makes me wonder: Why do we so often delight in honoring our friends’ achievements, yet downplay our own?

There are probably as many reasons for this unproductive behavior as there are women exhibiting it:

• We were told while growing up, “Don’t brag.”
• The religion we were raised in preaches humility.
• We tend to think that anything that comes easily to us comes easily to everyone, and is therefore nothing special.
• We somehow feel unworthy, and thus don’t claim what are actually very admirable strengths.
• And on and on and on...

How many times have we received compliments on our work or our appearance from friends, only to deflect them with a, “Yes, but...”? (A personal favorite: being complimented on a beautiful outfit and replying, “Oh, my gosh, this thing is so old.”) What makes it so hard for us to just look someone in the eye and say “Thank you” when we receive a kudo? How can this possibly be in our best interests?

Whatever the cause, the results of not accepting our talents, much less showcasing them, are uniformly negative:

• We risk having friends and colleagues cease to compliment us, because they know we’ll simply refuse to accept the gracious accolade.
• We risk wounding our would-be complimenters because we are, in effect, refusing a gift they want to give us.
• The more we deny our strengths and talents, the stronger the message we give our subconscious that we really don’t have anything to offer the world. (Ever hear of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Yikes!)
• We lose the esteem and the business of others if they believe our self-denigrating assessments.

While losing others’ esteem hurts the heart, losing their business hits us in the heart and in the checkbook. As business professionals, we simply can’t afford to be self-effacing about the skills we can apply on our clients’ behalf. Please don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying we should act as if we’re God’s gift to humankind. I am suggesting we put effort into finding that lovely dynamic equilibrium between thinking too highly of ourselves and not thinking highly enough.

If you need——and deserve!—a shot in the arm when it comes to being able to not only accept compliments but actually toot your own horn, here’s a smorgasbord of suggestions that can help you.

• Practice saying “Thank you!” with no evasions or qualifications.
• Be aware of qualifying words in general. If you hear yourself saying something like, “I did a pretty good job,” stop and pose a yes/no question to yourself. Ask, “Did I do a good job? Yes or no?” Be rigorously honest with yourself. If the answer truly is “no,” determine what was inadequate about the work and figure out how to do better in the future. If the answer is “yes,” however, identify what you did well and why, then celebrate!
• Look around your office and/or your home and identify work you’re proud of. What skills and abilities did you use in creating this work?
• Have you received any awards from professional associations, clients, volunteer groups, and so forth? If so, get a copy of the introductory speech used at the awards ceremony and pay attention to what it says. If committee members considered you worthy of an award, they can’t all be wrong about your achievements.
• Get together with a trustworthy friend. Over coffee, each of you share with the other some of her attributes and accomplishments you most admire. Be honest and thorough in explaining why you find these achievements praiseworthy. Note: In this conversation, the phrase “Yes, but...” is strictly a no-no.
• Listen to what clients say they most appreciate about your work. Better yet, ask them. This way, you get to practice being brave while you learn how to promote your business in language that will resonate with prospective clients.
• Incorporate these client kudos into a compelling “one-minute commercial” you can use in business venues. The first step in any effective commercial is to engage your listeners’ attention; what better way to do so than to share a dazzling success story?
• Remember the powerful words of Marianne Williamson: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. When we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others

Kathleen Watson is the principal of Client Connections and author of Net Profit: Business Networking Without the Nerves. Her mission is to turn business professionals into networking superstars by helping them implement a system that makes their networking a strategic and effective part of their marketing mix. To learn more about her Take It EEEasyTM program or other consulting services, contact her at 952-361-0638 or kath@yourclientconnection.com.

Don't distract me, I'm trying to change the world!

Today I am inspired. I just finished working with yet one more Mom in small business who is the full-time caretaker of her children and is changing the world with her small business. What kind of crazy being would try to take all of this on at once? A Mother of course!

Motherhood is an absolute joy, but I have to say it's not usually a brain challenge. For the most part, we do the same thing day in and day out but we still have this inner drive to be creative. Some Moms scrapbook, some Moms go into business for themselves. Either way, we have a need to create and a need to feel as though we have value.

In working with so many Moms in small business, I'm noticing some common themes.

1. "I want my own money." - Marriage is a partnership and household money should be too but the reality of the situation is that many women have not played an equal role in managing their money. Many women start small businesses to have some "money of their own."

2. Flexible schedules - Who stays home with sick kids and who is in charge of child care during summer break? Statistics show, it's most likely Mom. Many women need flexibility in their schedules and they are finding it in small business.

3. There's got to be a better way - Unhappy with the gizmo in your kitchen? Fed up with all the cords behind the TV? Leave it to a Mom to find a better solution. I'm still looking for someone to invent an attractive cover for that TV on top of the extra dresser. Go to it Mom, you can do it! Moms are great at finding solutions where none exist.

4. Preserving the planet - I just saw organic baby leaf spinach in a biodegradable clam shell container at the store. Moms are leading the pack in going green. With their children in mind, Moms are creating biodegradable packaging and eco-friendly product alternatives.

Never underestimate the power of a Mom in small business. I work with them every day and I'm watching them change the world.

Till next time ladies,
Taiha Wagner

Taiha Wagner is Founder/Director of Build Her Dream, offering small business development services and marketing to women expertise. (www.BuildHerDream.com)

Upcoming events!
Tuesday, March 11th 11:30am Women In Networking Luncheon
Taiha Wagner, Founder/Director Build Her Dream, speaks on "Marketing to Women" Mpls, MN

Thursday, March 13th 6:30pm Women in Business Sip N' Swap at Major's in Bloomington, MN

Let me show ya how to do it sister!

We all have our favorite authors, mentors and teachers that we look to for guidance on our small business learning journey. But recently, I realized that all the books I've been reading lately, have been written by women! Have you noticed an abundance of, "Let me show ya how to do it sister" books out there? Maybe it's because female owned businesses are my specialty, but I think, no, I know, women have a more natural tendency to want to help other women succeed.

If women had a mantra as a gender, it would be, "Look out for each other and make sure no one gets left behind." When you look at who leads the volunteer efforts in this country, you know it's women. When you look at who starts the majority of non-profit organizations in this country, you know it's women. Women have a natural tendency to take care of other women who are in the trenches beside them. Then, when one of us makes it out of the trenches, we make sure we leave a ladder behind for all the other women with clear directions on how to find it.

Another really great example of this, are all the books written on marketing to women. It makes sense that women are writing these books because no matter how much a man might study the subject, they just aren't hardwired the same way we are. It would serve male led businesses well to ask their female employees for input on their marketing tactics. After all, 75% of women feel that businesses are not doing a good job communicating to them.

I'm thankful for the women who have taken the time to share with me and guide me. Take Michele Miller for example, Michele is one of our marketing to women gurus in this country. She is the author of, The Natural Advantages of Women. I sent Michele an email one day with a marketing question and she emailed me right back. Now would a man have done the same? We can't know for sure, but I knew that she wouldn't leave me hanging because that's not what women do. After all, women are the ones who Make it Happen.

Till next time ladies,
Taiha Wagner

Taiha Wagner is Founder/Director of Build Her Dream, offering small business development services and marketing to women expertise. (www.BuildHerDream.com)

Upcoming events!
Tuesday, March 11th 11:30am Women In Networking Luncheon
Taiha Wagner, Founder/Director Build Her Dream, speaks on "Marketing to Women" Mpls, MN

Thursday, March 13th 6:30pm Women in Business Sip N' Swap at Major's in Bloomington, MN

A Woman’s Definition of Support

We all know women just do things and interpret things differently than men do. I’m not saying it’s any better or worse, just different. I couldn’t give you a more perfect example than this past holiday season when a fellow woman in business gifted my husband and me with a pair of concert tickets.

Jen was gracious enough to share an extra pair of concert tickets with us that her company had provided for her to pass on to her clients and fellow businesswomen. It was a “Thanks” to the women who had become her clients and for those who had supported her in her career. Jen told me that she was going to gather her group in the lobby before the concert so that she could introduce us to each other and spend some time socializing. I’m thinking, “Great, sounds good to me, count me in!”

That evening as my husband and I were getting ready, he asks, “What time does the concert start and what time do we need to go?” I share with him that Jen is having a little social time before the concert starts and that I’d like to go early and support her there. Now here’s where the great divide begins to get deeper. He flat out asks, “What does support her mean?”

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized this is a women thing. Showing up, being with your peers, congratulating her on her success and socializing with her clients was my way of supporting her. He, on the other hand, noted on the ticket that the concert started at 7pm and was planning a 6:59 arrival.

Relationships matter with women. They do with men too, but not to the extent in which we as women value them. Being together, deepening our relationship, sharing our feelings and experiences are all fair game in our work world too. Men typically save those for their personal lives. Why? Because men tend to compartmentalize their lives whereas women are much more holistic and can see that her work relationships can impact how she feels at home as well.

My husband is perfectly happy compartmentalizing because his brain doesn’t, and can’t, know any different. The way I see it, women have a much richer relationship experience and a greater opportunity to gain “support” from their female peers. Once again, Women Make It Happen!

Taiha Wagner is principal of BuildHerDream.com and is a local resource for marketing to women.